3/21/2017 0 Comments “And now headlining…”After a few days of a whole lot of crazy on Plenty of Fish, I got around to completing my online dating "profile".
The profile is your “why you should date me” full page, for lack of a better analogy, advertisement. Some profiles (like the one I originally had) have absolutely no information on the person except the required fields and a quick “just looking” or “checking this out”. Others (like the one I ultimately created) are NOVELS. Now, while I really tried to make mine a true reflection of me, some of the other “novels” were rants from really frustrated people. Rants on what they didn’t want, how crazy people were, etc. While some were pretty innocent, legit, "I just don't get people" rants...most were really aggressive to the point that I couldn't help but think "thanks for the warning that you’re just as fucking nuts as the people you’re writing about.” Back to the profile...a quick tip to those online dating - select a profile pic that doesn’t make you look like a serial killer, a bunny boiler or pics where your face isn’t beaten to a pulp (true story - one guy’s picture literally looked like he’d had the shit beat out of him…dried up blood, bruises, swollen eye, the whole 9 yards. I actually wondered if it was serious or a joke…in POF’s defense, that pic was actually from last summer’s stint on Match.com.) If you choose one of these less than flattering pictures of yourselves, you’re probably not going to snag you a fish anytime soon, but that’s just my opinion. Here's something to look forward to...for those that read this entire blog, you receive a free "gift" of two of my profile pics at the bottom of the blog (don't look ahead, you'll ruin your gift.) These online sites try to “guide you” on what you should say in the way of “share your likes” “what do you want in a partner”, “tell your future partner what your hobbies are” etc. I didn’t really need their guidance because the "plenty of the fish" I was encountering were very helpful in identifying exactly what I DIDN’T want in a date and I was pretty sure I’d be able to express it in the profile (see #7 but don’t look ahead yet) Writing about yourself is a lot easier than people think if you just start typing EXACTLY you’re thinking and then edit with a friend (or two) accordingly. As a reminder from "Go Fish", my goal for my online dating profile was to be as honest as possible, make it enjoyable, and weed out the crazies. WARNING: if you’re an immediate male member of my family, either one of my aunts on my mom’s side, or my mom there may be items in this blog entry that will make you shake your head or wish you hadn’t read it. If you chose to read everything from this point forward, you were warned and by accepting this disclaimer, you will not be allotted the opportunity to pass judgement. Now onto my actual profile…. First the site suggests a “Headline” which immediately made me think of a comedy club “now headlining” but anyway….for my “Headline” I chose “An attempt at the most honest female profile on POF.” Now onto the “About Me” (forewarning, mine was long a shit because I figured I’d put it all out there) here goes…yes, I really did put this online for the world of dating to see and now for all of you, but so be it...... “I figured since so many attentive guys have sent the one liner “you have an awesome profile”, I’d actually type one. Before we begin, “just looking” is not an invite for unsolicited naked pics below the waist or invites to start “sexting” and if you send them, I will laugh with my girlfriends over it, whether it’s impressive or not. You’ll also be considered a special kind of crazy that’s right for someone else :) What you should know before messaging me (in a quasi-David Letterman top 10 format – if you don’t get that reference, please skip ahead to #4)
There. That’s my level of crazy and info about me. If you’ve read this whole profile, I’m seriously impressed and will at least meet you for coffee after a minimum 48 hours of text and phone conversations (just to determine your level of crazy). I’m hoping this helps you in your search because this site is sort of exhausting (kind of like how some of you felt if you actually read this) lol! Plenty of Fish also has a First Date section, which I completed as follows… My friends and I had several comical responses for this box but instead, I’ll just say coffee or putt-putt or some activity that encourages conversation and heads up, the conversation should NOT be one sided, if you’re interested, ask me questions (and paying attention to the answers will be awarded bonus boy scout points) don’t just sit there staring at my beautiful eyes. Side bar - any potential folks that are “fishing” for a date and reading this blog, my advice to you is to be as truthful and positive as possible in your profiles. If you’re not by nature a positive or truthful person, I don’t know what to tell you but best of luck with your search. After writing the profile and re-reading it to my friend Abby for feedback and edits, we agreed we would both definitely date me (this is where you LOL) While feedback from potential “candidates” has confirmed I achieved my first two goals of the profile, I did NOT achieve goal #3 to weed out some of the “we are absolutely not compatible” or “crazy ass (in a really bad way) fish” as I had originally hoped but that's a blog entry for another time. Again, I admit it was a pretty damn long, maybe a bit too forward of a profile but I figured, what did I have to lose? C.S. Lewis said “Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide” I don’t know what book he wrote it in or if he just said it (because I read it off a meme on Facebook) but it’s a true statement. We all need to stop hiding our weird and stop hiding who we really are. When you let yourself be you, you find your tribe (yeah, I know that term is used a lot these days) and eventually the perfect half that will compliment your kind of crazy and that’s why I decided to be so forthcoming in my profile. So far it hasn’t totally bit me in the ass (yet). Until next time my friends, be kind. (and don't forget your bonus gifts of my profile pics, below!) It’s time for me to “go fish” and see if the new profile has snagged anything yet.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
September 2017
Categories |