Accordingly to Wikipedia, the Dead Sea is “receding at an alarming rate”, much like my interest in online shopping for a date on Plenty of Fish (POF). Am I really surprised? Much like the Dead Sea, Plenty of Fish is “a harsh environment in which not much can flourish” and after all, you get what you pay for (if I forgot to mention, it's a free site).
While I’m normally totally a Pollyanna with life (refer back to “the profile” blog entry - positive person (normally) to the point of annoying people) my experience, so far on the site, does not have me shitting rainbows (Attention deficit side note – I actually have a pair of socks that says “it’s a shitting rainbows kind of day”, okay now back on track). Now, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that a lot of men might be illiterate. Clearly, if they only read a quarter of the novel I wrote (or even just #7), they probably wouldn’t have contacted me. So if they aren’t illiterate, they have absolutely no common sense, or respect for the women they are reaching out to online. DUDES – stop trying to connect with just anyone! It won’t last. Pay attention, figure out the type of girl you’re looking for and stop complaining that no one responds, it’s probably because you have nothing in common. Take it as a sign from the universe and move on and that does go for the chicks reading too. (side note - did you know the urban definition of dude is a ball of poop stuck to an Elephant's ass? I'm going with the more common definition of "man/guy" for this blog. Anyway, back to the blog) All of the above was originally the opener for an entry that was going to focus on some specific stories regarding my first few “catches” that I reeled in on plenty of fish but then my ADD kicked in and I started scrolling through Facebook instead of writing about my “fish”…this is where it takes a totally different spin. My friend, Powie, posted “RIP Amy Krouse Rosenthal” on her facebook page and it caught my eye (mainly because FB has that stupid huge ass font when you only write a few words.) Truthfully, I had no f’in clue who that was so I quickly googled her for fear it was someone that my already grieving friend knew personally. The first google “hit” that popped up was a quick blurb from the NY Times that said “Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Children’s Author and Filmmaker, Dies at 51.” (I made an assumption my friend was merely a fan and didn’t know her personally) The 2nd was something Amy had written for a NY Times column, Modern Love, just a few days before she died. It was entitled “You May Want to Marry My Husband.” Well, me being the hippie that I am, said….”omg, that’s could be a sign from the Universe, I’m looking for a date and she said I might want to marry her husband so I should read that one first and I wonder if I do want to marry her husband?” Side note, I’m not insensitive but I am often inappropriate (I know...shocker). My family just deals with sad/uncomfortable news/issues/information with humor and sarcasm. It’s never meant with malicious intent. It’s our coping mechanism. Now back to the program. I did do a super quick read of hit #1, I gathered Amy started out as a lawyer, quit her day job and become a very popular children’s writer and columnist. She did TedTalks, these kick ass social experiments and a whole lot of other stuff that made me feel like I’ve probably spent way too much time of my life watching TV and playing on Facebook. But it was the second hit, “You May Want to Marry My Husband” that took this entry into an entirely different direction. Amy died on March 13, 2017 of Ovarian cancer. She was 51 (a mere 9 years older than me and 13 years younger than my mother). Believing she was having an appendicitis, she went to the hospital on September 5, 2015 (ironically my grandmother’s 99th birthday, grandma is now 100 – it’s the ADD, I can’t help it) with her husband, by the end of the visit to the ER, she found out she had late stage Ovarian Cancer. The irony for Amy and her husband was that it was their first day as empty nesters, their last child finally out of the house and off to college. All the plans they had for their “new found freedom” (my term, not hers) went out the window. Amy’s humor in this article, even in her last days on this earth, gave me this huge smile right along with a steady stream of heart felt tears. To say the article is touching is an understatement. It’s the story of someone trying to find humor, and a date for her husband, in the last days of her life. Someone so filled with joy and love for her husband that she wants to write his brief “dating profile,” before her death, in the hopes that he’ll find someone in which he can begin a new love story since their 26 year story was being cut short. If you listen closely to her words, you can actually hear the unbelievable love and joy this couple had for each other, partnered with her tremendous amount of disappointment for the things they’ll no longer be able to do and the pain that comes when one realizes something is over, forever. The column comes to a close with Amy leaving an intentional empty space as a way of giving them (her husband and his new partner) the fresh start they deserve (totally her words, not mine). Holy fucking emotion Batman - it was a heart tugging column. As I wiped the tears away from my eyes grieving for a woman and her family I’ll never know, I can’t help but evaluate all the love stories read, watched, lived, or been lucky enough to see firsthand. It also makes me want to give unsolicited “words of wisdom” (Disclaimer: I have no idea what I’m talking about and if you take this advice, you do so at your own risk and I would seek professionally assistance as needed)…. First words of wisdom.... If you’re in a marriage, partnership, relationship, etc. that isn’t bringing joy to each of you on a regular basis, helping the other person be the best person they can be, making each other smile more often than not, etc. Take a big fucking pause right now (with each other) and figure out now if it can be all of those things.
Secondly, Live your life. Truly Live it. According to the article about Amy Rosenthal’s death in the NYTimes by Daniel Victor, “Amy once said her favorite line from literature, was in Thornton Wilder’s play “Our Town,” as spoken by the character Emily as she bids the world goodbye: “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?” I don’t know how to correctly give credit to Daniel for that statement, because I’m just a girl with a laptop and not a degree, but it resonated with me. How often, if ever, are we truly realizing life? And why aren’t we doing it every day? Here’s something relatively new about me you don’t know. I have a playlist for my funeral. I don’t think I’m going to die anytime soon but you just never know. It doesn’t have many songs on it but after my friend’s grandpa passed away last year, we were laughing at the reception after the service (that’s right, that’s how we roll) joking about how funerals really need better “play lists” so, that day, I started one. After reading Amy's article and the articles about her, I added the song that, I hope, will be the grand finale at the service. The song is “I lived” by One Republic (here’s a link to the the lyrics which you should 100% look up - https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=lyrics+to+lived+by+one+republic&* ) Here's the snap shot on the lyrics.... I did it all I owned every second that this world could give I saw so many places The things that I did Yeah, with every broken bone I swear I lived Side note: Ironically, I heard the song, for the first time, the day my grandfather died. He died at age 98, we were pretty close. The hippie in me told me to take it as a sign. I did. Two years later, my life is pretty different, I’m trying to live it to its fullest and I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been (although I could go for getting laid more often). No fishing tonight. Until next time… For those interested in reading Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s last writings, grab a box of tissues and click on this link - https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/03/style/modern-love-you-may-want-to-marry-my-husband.html
4 Comments
Cameron
3/31/2017 11:34:40 am
I Lived by One Republic is one of of my favorite songs for the same reason! Do it right the first time, because no one knows if you get another chance. Love you my friend!
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Jim
4/1/2017 02:11:43 am
Well done...Cancun seem to be an inspirational place for you, or was it the company? Cheees
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11/8/2022 05:51:14 am
Very enough maybe pattern write. Raise family sit middle. Move during any arrive.
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